lyrics.

Tomorrow Mind

Eyes on the road
Drive the streets I know
Lie to my soul
To let it go

Will I ever satisfy my tomorrow mind
Will I ever slow enough to rest another night
I’m always willing to go but I’ve been lookin to stay
Though it might be hard I know home is worth the wait

Ride down the coast
Or fly somewhere I’m yet to know
To try find a hope
Maybe I won’t 

Could it ever satisfy my tomorrow mind
Could I ever hold me down to stay beyond the night
I just wanna know will I make it some day
Thought it might be hard I hope to find it on the way

I’m where I’m meant to be
I’m where I’m meant to be
I’m where I’m meant to be
I’m where I’m meant to be

Maybe you could satisfy my tomorrow mind
Maybe all I needed was some peace to win the fight
All I want is a home, I think you want it the same
So I finally stop and let today just be today
Oh my soul can settle and wait

Unlearn It All

If I could unlearn it all
What would you want to stay
If I could unbind myself
Could I come back again
Put the old days on the shelf
I gotta let things change
I gotta let things change

If I been wrong and missed the mark
Would you show me a better way
Cause I’ve been holding back my heart
I know I’ve not been brave
But I’m willing to make some faults
If you are here to stay
I know you’re here to stay

You’re still with me when surrender feels too hard
You’re still with me when I feel that you are far
Even when the world is changing
Even when I’m in the waiting
Even when my memory’s fading
You are still with me

See I been wrestling with my thoughts
Like Israel at the rock
And whether I tap out or not
Help me leave better off
And when I’ve given this a lot
I’m glad that you’re all I got
You’re finally all I got

You’re still with me when surrender feels too hard
You’re still with me when I feel that you are far
Even when the world is changing
Even when I’m in the waiting
Even when my memory’s fading
You are still with me

Even when my mind is racing
Even when my hands are shaking
Even when I’m only aching 
You are still with me

Great Arsonist

If I stare at the wall long enough
Will it help my heart feel numb
Will the memories quit coming up
And will I behold her face without the blood

Hold me as I cry on your shoulder
Kiss me again until I shake this coldness
And find the warmth yeah

Will months go by before I breathe again
Can my lungs survive without the oxygen
But as I inhale you tell me once again
That even if she’s not I am still living
And even if she’s gone you’re not leaving

Hold me as I cry on your shoulder
Kiss me again until I shake this coldness
And find the warmth yeah

It seeps beyond the flesh to find a space within
You’re the great arsonist and I am burning
But I’ll curl up and watch me go up in flames
If it takes the pain away

Breathe on the fire, breathe on the fire
Breathe on the fire, ’til the cold fades

I pull back the sheets and let you in
It’s not so much but it’s all that I can give
You met me here in a bed I made of sadness
And just like that I know the cold has left
‘Cause in a game of life and death you’ve won again

Autumn Wind

I shift my gaze inward, and I see a light. On this day, it is nothing more than a glowing coal, burnt up and waiting. But it is still enough to birth a small flame with a breath, and on this I depend, on this Maker breath to blow
deep as I watch.

He is a builder of great bonfires, committing the arson that this exhausted rebel soul longed to feast on. Even as my body urges me to curl up and protect the little heat it still contains, the kiss of his warmth frees me from the tight grip of an anxious tension, my inhaling response to the cold.

So may the sun provide the heat my heart hungers for, and may the cold breeze sweep in the oxygen required to spark a flame from thirsty coals. May I recall the eternal light deep inside that ceases to touch the horizon and positions itself far too close for anything to pass between.

Here I find that the Shining Son redeems a fearful mind in a moment. He unwinds a tightly knotted stomach with ease, and knits into my flesh the closure that only His care can bring. Hope seeps beyond the fleeting, into spaces that the creators hands once moulded, and I remember the love that still holds me.

Empty Wine

I’ve been thinking of a tale that I once heard
A ship was sinking and a sailor gave his word
I’ll quit drinking should my feet find themselves on earth

And if I drink this wine out of the bottle
The last one left behind, maybe then I’ll find

That I, I kid myself that I’ll give up
Laughing as I fill my cup
And I well I could drink too much
And I have let that stuff fill my time
Oh an empty wine

I guess he made it to the land from which he came
Had best intentions with the promises he made
But down the bar they overhear the hopeless man say

I’m gonna end this hell like my father
It seems he taught me well how to hate him and myself

Well I, I think I’m damned inside this well
I should have cried out for help
And I wish I’d have known I could reach out
So I’m desperate yet without and I’m not fine
It was empty wine

If you pretend you’re blind before your idols
Live a complacent life for vacant gods
You’re whispering lies, your very own rival
Drinking empty wine from a broken cup
And I hope real soon you find how to stop

Well I, I don’t want to watch you lose
Just to tell your story too
Of your empty wine that you drank ’til you felt moved
Just to sing a thirsty tune all your life
Of your empty wine, mmm.

Well Worn Track

My heart treads down the grass on a well worn track
Mindless fingers nake the branch of pilgrims passed
Recall the breaking glance of a godly man
All of time and space waste fast when I remember

I’ve been here days gone by
And all the years I’ve turned a blind eye
Feeling I done all I can

The road ahead grows broad and I wonder of the cost
Does my neglect pierce the temple of God
There’s grievance riding on the winds that made me lost
For when I sold my soul for freedom I gave it up

I’ve been here days gone by
And all the years I’ve turned a blind eye
Feeling I done all I can

Still the chaos in my mind
Realign my breaking spine
Drag the shadows into light I beg of you
Pull my hatred from the heights
Stick around and brave the fight 
I know the darkness isn’t mine
I will get through
And oh the night tells me a lie
It is not you

Change The World

When the fear I might not change the world is finally gone
Will I sit by and wonder
Have I wasted all my time not doing it at all
While I pass my brother

Look at all the moments I rushed by
Running past the best days of my life

When I wake I’ll take my time just getting out of bed
I’ll lean on my beloved
Note the way the light seeps through like summer in a thread
While hiding in my covers

Look for beauty in the day ahead
If it comes just pause and take it in

Be there when a friend is feeling gray
Tell Dad I love him from so far away
Light a candle for you after a long day
Give thanks with all the words I have to say

When the years are gone I’ll say I’d do it all again
But I know my days are numbered
So I’ll live them for another

Something In
The Heart

He filled my mind with thoughts of home
Had me living future days
Walking hallways we had bought
Oh I dared to believe, to hope
But when we finally stood afce to face
It wasn’t what we thought

He said there’s something in the heart
That makes you choose it when it’s hard
And if you don’t feel it baby then I won’t force you to try
Cause if my love would cross the distance
yours would leave me far behind

God knows I tried to change my mould
Can’t manufacture butterflies 
Or sing a song without the lyrics
We could try to take control
Or drag the time onto our side
But when it’s missing it’s just missing

Because there’s something in the heart
Something you feel before things start
And I’m sorry for believing you’d feel anything at all
But I’m better for my dreaming and I don’t regret the fall

So I’ll live my life and let go of my wondering 
If you’ll ever change your mind
I’ll quiet waiting forever just for nothing
Though your heart would be worth the time
But so is mine, so is mine

And there is something in my heart
When I’m reminded God’s still God
We’ll feel it all one day I’m certain
perfect timing, perfect person
And the mysteries and pains
they will be all considered worth it
To finally share that something in the heart

Purge My Mind

Swallow my pride, swallow the lies
I’ve got a habit of bringing it back
I’ve got a feeling I’ll taste it again
Sick to the stomach, my mind doesn’t want it
Just wanna fight my way outta my skin
Hiding inside of a craving again

Purge my mind of this
Starve my heart of emptiness
Wash my hands of that rid
That rid me of unworthiness

Force me to hide, bleeding or blinded
Shame has a way of getting me by myself
But I need to hear it from somebody else
I saw him cry, saw the look in his eye
Breaking his heart when it all hits the ground
Begged me to stop and I asked for his help

Purge my mind of this
Starve my heart of emptiness
Wash my hands of that rid
That strip me my worthiness

Forgive me I have sinned
In the way I’ve known my skin
Everyday the hate I give
By mercy start again
And I say no more to this
Oh today my body lives

Oh today my body lives
Oh today my body lives

What You Know

When you just miss home but there’s no way there
And you try to call, they’re asleep in bed
When you find the note where your mama said
I’m glad you could go but I wish you were home instead

It feels farther than you thought don’t it
It feels harder than you thought ‘cause it’s
Anything other than what you know

Oh you miss the stars in the sky down there
And the ocean breeze in your salty hair
Oh if life could lead you anywhere
Would you let it lead you to an answered prayer

It feels farther than you thought don’t it
It feels harder than you thought ‘cause it’s
Anything other than what you know

When they’re aching and you can’t be near
And your heart it screams that the world ain’t fair
So you fall down on your knees and dare
To beg your good God to protect them while you aren’t there

It feels farther than you thought don’t it
It feels harder than you thought don’t it
It feels farther than you thought ‘cause it’s
Anything other than what you know

In The Sun

I, I’m feeling at home again
I, I finally found my rest

Here in the sun, here in the light
I’m breathing it in
After it all, after the rain
All’s well in the end

Helpless, helpless against these could skies
Waiting, I’m waiting for the sun to shine

I opened my heart, opened my eyes
And life came again
When all was lost, when all was dead
I found a friend

Thank you for supporting my music!

if you have found your way to this page, it means that you have enjoyed my songs enough to sing along, and for that i am grateful!

this page full of words and stories have been birthed out of about five years of my life journey through grief, joy, loss, love, celebration, yearning, questioning and so much more. they are the story of my heart and the sacred friendship that has carried me through every single season.

my prayer is for you to seek out that voice in your own life, the voice that sets us free and gives us a peace that surpasses understanding.

with love,

yaz.